Crappy Stocks

This is yet another in a series of unsolicited blog submissions from George Pick, who is currently serving as an advisor to the Herman Cain Adultery Campaign.

During lapses in medication dosing he finds the time to write and peer through neighborhood windows. Today’s blog was clearly written during a period of delusion.

Thank the Lord for laptops….what we do without them?

What a great world we live in. Offices, who the heck needs them?

Why do they call it traveling when you are immersed in the morning rush hour and standing perfectly still? The last time I remember being that still was when my 5th grade teacher Mrs. Chivis yelled at us “clasp your hands and sit still” and it scared the crap out of this 10 year old.

Teacher, teacherAs her bifocals were keenly balanced on the perch of her nose and, of course, that long chain anchored those bifocals, I remember thinking “if only they had laptops in these glory days.”

I could have wrapped up my 5th grade education with an on-line course and sent the ole battle axe a packin. I never did find out what her first name was. She will always be Mrs. Chivis who scared the crap out of me.

I guess you could have labled me CRAPPY STOCK. I think she did……

Time out for an Egg Cream break with 2 pretzel rods…..O.K. I’m back….

I am sitting in my antique style chair at my desk with my trusty laptop

Wat a buy the chair was $649. and the desk was $1200. I got them both at a tent sale for $170.  Floor samples. I just love a great buy. It’s thriling to know that you didn’t screw up, you actually got a well thought out bargain, sorta like a crappy stock.

It’s thrilling when you buy a crappy stock and it soars. Ya know the kind of crappy stock that Cramer would not give a mention to, nor would it ever make the 8 o’clock hour on CNBC.

Who buys that crap anyhow?

So I bought this stock called ZOOM. Admitedly I am not a long term investor. Just do not trust the economic volatility in today’s world, but I do trust a penny stock?

What am I thinking? Mrs. Chivis should have had me wrapped a little tighter. What a crappy stock.ZOOM is. but who cares if it makes a whole bunch of coin,.or in this case a whole lot of Benjamins…

” Wanna be ballers, shot-callers It’s all about the Benjamins baby Brawlers — who be dippin in the Benz wit the spoilers It’s all about the Benjamins baby”

O.K. I’m back…..

I wrote an in-depth post on a forum that I frequent and clearly explained my logic. Funny, though how child molesters aren’t that interested in stock picks.

One response yearned for a clear explanation of my sanity. “Do you realize the crap this company distributes” asked one poster?

Yes I realize, .the kind that just paid me a huge return. Who cares what they make? I am not touting their product, I am not getting into a long term relationship. Heck we are not even dating. This is just dinner and a movie and hopefully a happy ending.

I am not an options guy. Not good at it. I leave that for brilliant minds like my friend the TheAcsMan.

What I like is a great buy…PERIOD.

A great buy is a great buy, no matter how you twist it.

What constitutes a great buy? When the value of the item you are buying outweighs the dollar amount spent on the item.

Pretty simple…

I look for reversals that are forming. Chart patterns that show signs of breakouts. to find 50 Moving Averages’s crossing 200 day Moving Averages to the up side.

Cup and handles.

52 week lows reached because of some analyst downgrade.

You get the picture.

So I proceeded to buy my bargain on Monday at $0.93 and by Wednesday it hit $1.60.

That’s what we technicians would refer to as a “lucky call.”

I need to check with Chase to see if they have a money market that pays that type of interest on my money, or that minds that there’s white powder coatiing my deposits.

What a crappy stock

I think it is a great stock and it is reaching that 90 cents level again as I write this useless information.

Alex I will take useless information for $1000 please..

And by the way dinner and the movie was a perfect date and YES, a happy ending was in order….

“Enormous cream, forest green — Benz jeep for my team so while you sleep I’ma scheme (that’s right)”

O.K. I’m back.

I love not having to drive my car to an office. I owe that to people named Gates, Jobs.and too many more to mention. The great innovators of this generation. Because of their brain power and consistent commitment to create,  I can take my laptop to the crapper and purchase a crapy stock

All while I am taking a crap.on the crapper.

Somebody save me.

Did I just pay homeage to those brilliant minds or scar their memories forever?.

Who gives a crap?

And talking about crap, how about esearch in Motion? .I lost some Benjamins on that one. I got out quick and shaved my losses. Could the analysts have madee up their freakin’ minds? Is it a buy or a sell?

Break up the company and sell the parts. Change management. Make a WHITEBERRY so it looks like an iPhone.

Hey RIMM, wake the F**k up. It’s 2012 you fell asleep and the world has changed.

Sorry, I know NO emotions when it comes to stocks. No personal involvement. Just dinner and a movie and hopefully a happy ending. I couldn’t help myself.. I dated RIMM and.I usually do not date that type but I had to stay and see if I could eventually receive that happy ending.

Well I didn’t .

NO happy ending.  Paid for three dinner dates and still no happy ending so decided to cut her loose and date within my limited capabilities.

So the question is which stock is a CRAPPY STOCK?

ZOOM with a happy ending or RIMM with no happy ending.

“You …You got what I need…but you say he’s just a friend yeah you say he’s just a friend….You..You got what I need….”

O.K. I’m back….

Kimberly Clark.

Can you say that again?

Kimberly Clark. Sounds so wholesome. The type of girl you take home to meet your parents.No happy ending, but she will put a smile on your face.

Sncere, wants the best for you and is always consistent. Looks like she just fell out of a J.CREW catalogue.

Certainly not a CRAPPY STOCK, but I have to look deep inside my soul.

OK. not so deep.

I am not that deep of a soul and by my standards of weighing values I guess I am what I am.

I just want a happy ending when paying for dinner and a movie. A bit chauvanistic,  but stress release is imperative to my stability which in turn has a profound effect on my sanity.

Not RIMM type of crappy, but ZOOM type of crappy-happy..

Although if I purchased RIMM @$13. and it went back into the 20’s, 30’s.and then all the way back to the $70’s, I could eliminate the “CR” and replace it with an “H” and RIMM could be a crappy-happy…happy ending kind of a date.

But you know how it goes.

You start dating again and all is well and then you get blind sided. But it is hard to fathom that the stronghold it had on the corporate world has slipped through their sleepy minds. Perhaps management needs happy endings to stimulate their thought process. Kimberly Clark is a great date and even a better long term relationship. Perhaps marriage would be a good dividend, but I like my crappy-happy stocks….

Back in May I believe it was Cramer who touted Motricity at $30 or so and then admitted that he had made a mistake.

Does Cramer get …..?

Never mind.

Then a Motley Fool article said “sell and stay far away.” I think it was a December article.

So who’s right ?

In my view neither was right, but hey that’s just me. Instead of “buy” and “don’t buy” when is somebody going to look at any item and say “O.K. I did my research so how do I play this to my advantage?”

I purchased MOTR at close to its 52 week low. Then December 23 it gained 22% …..CRAPPY STOCK.

28% of the 33 million share float is short., but Carl Icahn has supported MOTR with a $20 million investment and owns 15% of the company, and yes there is another person with the same last name that is an insider.

It is going through some executive changes and probably a short squeeze. It has been in a tight channel since August and the broke out of the channel to the short side and reversed in the past few days with increased volume.

Is the short squeeze on? We shall see. Just watch the volume as it tells the story…..


My thinking is there are no crappy stocks. Only people that enter and exit a stock at the wrong time. Bit if crappy stocks keep giving me high returns with no marital obligations and all the baggage that is attached, I will keep dating with some dinner and a movie.

And that movie better COME with a HAPPY ENDING….

” But this ain’t a joke, I want you to know that Tech ninna is never pretending.. Alone in my bed, a gun to my head, asking WHERE IS MY HAPPY ENDING? “

“Clasp your hands together.” I wonder if Mrs. Chivis is out there reading tonight?



If for some bizarre reason you feel a need to read George Pick’s previous guest blogs

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