A Dog with Two Tales

I mentioned the other day that I was never very good at idiomatic expressions, maybe I’m not very good at spelling either. I’ve definitely become too lazy to look up the spelling of words, as I’ve been unable to get the spell check feature to actually function without crashing the installation.

Hononyms have always been the bane of my existence.

For want of a waywardly mis-spelled word, I’m certainly not going to bother with the headache of backing up my site’s data. A lot of good it used to do for numbers runners to have their data readily available.

The Szelhamos site may go down, but I’m not.

But I do know the expression “Tail wagging the dog” refers to an inappropriate decision making process or a case of mis-placed organizatonal structure. And I also know that it’s “tail” and not “tale”

Who's Wagging Who?Sometimes, though it seems that there is no head, just a couple of tails wagging one another.

On first re-read, that actually sounds like the premise for a gay pornography film, but that’s for the future to decide. But just in case, I just purchased the domain name “HesAllForeskin.com”.

Thursday’s trading was just another one of those days when, in the absence of any particular news, one of the tails got the upper hand.

I suppose that could be part of the film, as well.

As always, regardless of what is going on in front of our eyes, it then becomes a tale of another kind.

On dog’s of a day like those with triple digit losses, the tales start wildly wagging as each person tries to out-expert the next. Despite the fact that there is often no identifiable difference bewteen two successive trading days, there’s never a shortage of interpretations to explain the action.

After Wednesday’s 275 point climb and gold’s $60 drop it was a different story Thursday. A differnt story is actually the same old story.

At first, it looked as if Wednesday’s tail had overtaken the opposite wagging of the early morning. After nearly a 100 point drop on the open, within 10 minutes the Dow erased that in its entirety and actually made it to a gain over slightly over 40 points.

Gold, in the meantime, just ignored the $60 drop and recouped nearly that entire days’ loss.

While gold was staying on its singular course the market gave up its gain and then some in the 10 minutes before the Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, delivered his speech in Minnesota.

Considering that President Obama is appearing before the joint house this evening, just prior to the NFL season kick-off, it probably shouldn’t have been too surprising that Bernanke didn’t really say that much.

In this case, one tail was bowing to the other. His may be a non-political position and independent from the Executive Branch, but the man is not a rude schmuck.

But still, it was surprising that the market would show any reaction at all. What were they expecting, something other than the obvious? Given the well established belief that the market is forward looking, they must have had their sights set somewhere well beyond the horizon.

The inability to expect the obvious was also evident in Wednesday evening’s GOP Presidential debate, although no one would ever excuse this sad group of being forward looking. After having just seen ex-candidate Tim Pawlenty on with Stephen Colbert, I have a new found respect for Pawlenty.

It all derives from his simple comment that he should have “put a sparkler up his butt” to bring some excitement into his now dead campaign.

As for the rest of the wannabes, clearly, these combatants were following two different tales.

After listening to Newt Gingrich, a strong 12th in the polls, chide the moderators, I’m not certain he understood what a debate is all about.

He faulted Brian Williams and the Politico guy whose name I never bothered to register for trying to get the debate participants to disagree with one another.

Perhaps the producers gave two different tales to the opposing sides. The moderators were told to ask insightful questions and the participants were told to sing “Kumbaya”.

Rick Perry and Mitt Romney did nothing to dispel the notion that they had no clue what a debate was supposed to be about, although right after saying that they weren’t there to disagree with one another, they each quickly forgot that sentiment and then tried to outdo one another with unsubstantiated “factoids”. However, I do have to give high marks to Romney for suggesting that Perry, when it came to signing an Executive order mandating Gardisil vaccinations, would have rather accomplished the same thing but through a legislative process, instead.

Of course, Ron Paul believed that the moderators should have no mandate, so he just answered whatever question popped into his mind. Not surprisingly, there was some gold and even silver, thrown in with his answer, in addition to the idea that the marketplace takes care of everything.

When asked about such specific issues as car safety regualtions, he again said that the market would decide and consumers would move away from less safe cars.

Of course, what was left unsaid was that without mandated safety regulations the only way to discover the spmething is unsafe is through the laboratory we call “life”.

Too late if that’s the way you have to find out. Condolences in advance.

The funny thing is that such a belief is no different from religious zealots that believe that God is responsible for everything that occurs in the world. God willing, God will provide or the market will decide are all expressions of blind faith and the abdication of responsibility.

Poor Rick Santorum. How does he reconcile the demand that government stay out of our lives when it comes to Gardisil vaccinations for young girls, but government should step in and outlaw abortions?

In one tale he tells the story of how parental rights shouldn’t be abrogated, and in the other tale personal rights should.

I imagine his head might explode if a parent actually supports their child’s decision to get an abortion.

Although as the old saying goes “If a head exploded and there were no brains inside, would there still be splatter on the wall?”

Like most things, I don’t pretend to know the answer to that question.

As the day just degenerated further I made a couple of trades adding to my ProShares UltraShort Silver ETF position, which has snuck up to 5% of my portfolio. Most of those holdings are not hedged, as I’m feeding my evil, but reasonably latent speculative side. That side is one that’s very differnt from my overall conservative approach that eschews greed, panic and envy.

If silver falls I will dedicate a room in my home to the Hunt Brothers and will pray to their alter.

But that’s another tale for another time.



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